


(Louder, Louder) We'll Run for our Lives

by nirvanaflames (orphan_account)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, M/M, tragedy i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 01:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5950930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/nirvanaflames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akashi Seijuro finally meets his first love at the age of 30.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Louder, Louder) We'll Run for our Lives

The temperature tonight is icy cold.

 

Akashi Seijuro, heir to the Akashi Conglomerate, exits the gigantic building. He pauses momentarily, watching the white puffs of his breath float and disappear into the air, and then proceeds to hail a taxi. As he heads to his destination, a dinner meeting at one of Tokyo’s highly rated private restaurants, he stares out the window. Everything is a blur of bright lights, moving vehicles, and shadowy figures. Nothing really stands out to him.

 

Akashi idly taps a finger on the leather briefcase, mentally running over some vital points he’d like to discuss during the meeting tonight. For most of the ride, he remains uninterested in the colorless world outside his window. That is until a blue dot comes into his vision and to think he almost glossed over this detail!

 

A man crosses the street. Akashi sees no one but this person. He scrutinizes every little detail. The look-a-like is dressed in casual attire. The hood of his black jacket is pulled up, obscuring his face from the scion sitting in the taxi. The only visible thing is the sky blue bangs peeking out from the hood.

 

The light flashes green and the taxi makes a left turn, dragging Akashi away from the seemingly familiar man. All color is drained from his world once again. His eyes shift downwards, away from the window, and that is when he notices his tight grip on the door.

 

Akashi leans back against the leather seat, a poor attempt to ease himself, but he knows he is not able to. He won’t be able to.

 

The restaurant comes into his view and the moment he steps out of the car, it’s as if he’s just broken a dam of emotions. The chilly breeze generates a spidery sensation along his spine; the coldness of the breeze feels like a slap to his face, awakening him all the more as a yearning sensation surges throughout his system. All he wants to do is run back to that crosswalk and scream Kuroko Tetsuya’s name.

 

Akashi walks into the restaurant.

 

He has business to attend to.

 

*^*

It’s a Friday evening and Akashi’s barely arrived at his condo. He sits on his pricey couch and simply stares out the glass windows. It really should have been a wall, but he wanted a window, so a wall-window it was.

 

The contractor in charge of building the wall-window often praised the chance to see night Tokyo from such an elevated view. Yet the sight doesn’t absorb Akashi at all. In fact, if anything, he is mainly disappointed. The ability to see such a big expanse of land, containing thousands of people, only makes him frustrated. How should he find Kuroko? Where should he go? Where was Kuroko hiding?

 

Akashi lays down, a hand draped over his stomach. It’s been a week since he last saw Kuroko or at least that’s whom Akashi hopes he saw.

 

He doesn’t quite remember when he drifted asleep but he wakes up to the blaring ringtone. A ringtone he specifically set for a certain individual. He instantly picks up. Of course, sounding calm and collected.

 

“This is Seijuro speaking,” Akashi greets.

 

“I assume you are done with work,” Masaomi responds. His voice is gruff and deep but there is some elegance to the way he speaks.

 

“Yes father.”

 

“You will be turning twenty-nine soon, I want you to be aware of your situation. People are mindful that you will succeed the conglomerate when you become thirty and some would like to see you dead before then, if not by then.”

 

Akashi doesn’t hold back his remark. “I was aware of that before I even entered the business scene, father.”

 

Masaomi pays no mind to the comment. “I will be assigning you a personal guard soon. I’ll notify you when time comes. Be on guard as usual, Seijuro.”

 

Beep.

 

Akashi’s left to his own devices again. He sits in the darkness of his home, watching a helicopter in the far distance zoom around with a beam of light projected into the streets.

 

“We’re getting old aren’t we, Tetsuya?”

 

 

*^*

 

Akashi’s twenty-ninth birthday was three days ago. As usual, it was a grand party with a variety of guests invited. To Akashi though, it was more like a networking event filled with underlying tension, sophistication and facades.

 

He finds birthdays a conflicting matter because, to him, birthdays have no meanings. Yet, every birthday weighs on his mind as well as his heart. Every birthday reminds him of the voids that have appeared throughout his lifetime. Somewhere in his mind, he tallies the number of years Kuroko’s disappeared from his life, the years his mother’s been dead, the years he last saw his friends. He counts the people who have walked in and out of his life, bonds depreciated over time.

 

He looks at himself and questions.

 

 _Perhaps_ , Akashi thinks, _perhaps that is why I would not like to give much meaning to birthdays._

He questions everything, everything he’s ever done and everything that’s happened to him. Questioning, questioning, _questioning_ to the point that he now questions anything in his way.

 

Birthdays celebrate years of living and Akashi knows he’s not happy living this way.

 

He pours himself his twelfth glass of sake. He sips it this time, taking a slower pace unlike the previous shots where he chugged and poured more sake.

 

“Akashi, don’t go getting wasted on my watch,” Mayuzumi says, already annoyed as fuck.

 

Akashi takes his third sip. He looks out the window. He doesn’t really see anything except for the faint outline of the nearby buildings, but even that is becoming hard to distinguish with the night growing darker.

 

“Thank you for your concerns, Chihiro, but I am still sober.”

 

Mayuzumi slumps in his seat, eyeing his protectee with disgust. “That’s because you’ve been drinking so much this past year. Of course, your tolerance would up a bit.”

 

Akashi shoots his guard an inviting look. “Would you care to join me?”

 

“And let you be a free target?”

 

“Why not?” Akashi says with ease, swirling the liquid in his glass cup. 

 

Mayuzumi rolls his eyes. “And have your dad request my death? Alright, I’ll definitely do that.”

 

Akashi briefly smiles. He shakes his head and softly says, “It’s odd how similar you two are, yet how completely different you both are.”

 

With narrowed eyes, the guard spits out, “Don’t go comparing me to strangers, Akashi.”

 

Akashi dismisses it with a wave of his hand. “Oh don’t mind me, Chihiro. I’m just drunk.”

 

“You idiot, you just said you were sober one minute ago.”

 

Akashi tilts his head, a taunting twinkle in his eyes. “Ah. Did I say that?”

 

He peacefully and silently resumes sipping his sake.

 

*^*

 

As the year proceeds, so do the numerous attempts to kill Akashi. Mayuzumi finds himself very alert and preoccupied these days. When he hears his phone ringing, he picks up with a snap. “What the hell do you want?”

 

“How rude.”

 

Mayuzumi does a double take at the caller ID. “How’d you get my number, you brat?”

 

“Simple methods, Mayuzumi-kun.”

 

“Piss off. I’ll have you know I am pressed for time.”

 

“Ah. Is that so?”

 

“Quit the dawdling, Kuroko. What do you need?”

 

“I don’t need anything. I called to inform you that Kagami-kun and I have been assigned to ease your duty from the shadows. You can thank Riko-san.”

 

Mayuzumi makes a disapproving sound at this new information. “You better get a hold on your ace. I don’t need him interfering unnecessarily and _you_ stay out of sight. I don’t need your lover boy flocking to you like a puppy.”

 

“Understood and Mayuzumi-kun? Akashi-kun is nothing like a puppy.”

 

Mayuzumi rolls his eyes. He can practically hear the smugness in that brat’s voice.  

*^*

 

Several weeks later as Akashi and Mayuzumi walk down the sidewalk, Mayuzumi notes to himself the significant drop in attacks. He frowns with annoyance at the idea of Kuroko getting involved with his case. He’s so engrossed in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear Akashi’s prodding questions. When he does, he’s met with an odd one.

 

“Chihiro, did your soul flee from your body and leave you as an automated shell?”

 

“Don’t be stupid, Akashi.” Mayuzumi sends him a glare.

 

Akashi merely straightens his tie, unfazed. “Welcome back to Earth, Chihiro.” He glances at his wristwatch. “We have half an hour to get to the location. I look forward to my ensured safety.”

 

“Well aren’t you chatty today.”

 

Akashi ceases moving and gives him a smile- one that sends shivers crawling down his spine. Because when has Akashi ever _smiled_ at him, or anyone for the record? The sun beams on his hair, giving it that lustrous bloody color. The way he stares, all knowing and expectant, at Mayuzumi fills the guard with cautiousness.

 

“Would you like to know the reason, Chihiro?”

 

“No I’d rather not.”

 

Akashi flicks a piece of lint off Mayuzumi’s shoulder. His eyes lower, hidden by those thick lashes, and so does his voice. “Too bad. I’ll still tell you regardless.”

 

The eyelashes lift, revealing his crimson-gold eyes. His gaze is heavy, penetrating to the core. It makes Mayuzumi feel stuck, frozen in place. Akashi moves a bit closer. “I know you’re associated with Tetsuya.”

 

Mayuzumi knows he’s not a genius and he knows it doesn’t take a genius to fucking connect the dots with what Akashi’s demanding.

 

Akashi backs off and resumes walking, leaving Mayuzumi behind him. And for Mayuzumi, time seems to flow again now that Akashi’s out of his personal bubble. He trails after the heir, seething under his breath, “Kuroko, you _fucking_ _brat_.”

 

He glances at Akashi. _Make it two brats._

 

At that moment, Mayuzumi is thereon convinced that they’re both bad luck.

 

*^*

 

Mayuzumi sits in a karaoke bar with Akashi who drinks his sorrows away. The background tracks of soap opera ballads blare out. Mayuzumi has stared at the screen long enough to say that he could repeat three of those songs by heart.

 

He looks back at Akashi who finally seems to be getting tipsy. He was never one to console those with heartaches and he never will be. He can’t even bring himself to sympathize with the younger man.

 

Akashi’s head jerks once. He mumbles to himself. “…I don’t understand.”

 

Mayuzumi crosses his arms. “Clearly, the brat doesn’t want to chat with you.”

 

“…What must I do…Tetsuya?” Akashi suddenly grabs another glass of sake and drinks sloppily. His shirt is drenched from the failed attempts to drink.

 

Mayuzumi sighs. “You know, this is the third time this month you’ve gotten yourself wasted over a stupid brat, Akashi.”

 

Akashi shakes his head, looking dizzy at some points. “He’s too far, like this- _”_ Akashi’s arm flies into the air and then his shoulders slump depressingly. _“_ … out of my reach…What do I do …Chihiro?”

 

Akashi peers at the guard, pitifully hopeful. He looks ready to hit the bed and sleep. Mayuzumi momentarily ponders about knocking him out and dumping him back at his condo. It shouldn’t be that hard, right?

 

“Do I look like a fucking relationship consultant?”

 

“…No.”

 

Akashi averts his stare, lowering his head too. Mayuzumi’s praying to the gods, any god! He prays that Akashi’s not getting teary because Mayuzumi would really knock him out then. Talk about uncomfortable and unnecessary.

 

“You look… like Tetsuya,” Akashi suddenly says. A light sniffle follows, one that Mayuzumi barely detected.

 

“Alright that’s it,” Mayuzumi grumbles. “Enough with this shit. I’m knocking you out _._ ”

 

Akashi falls unconscious, slurring unintelligible words, and Mayuzumi opts to piggyback him because carrying him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes would draw the attention of stray eyes. And does Mayuzumi Chihiro want that? No.

 

Another thing he makes note of is to call the other fucking brat. For now, all he has to do is resist the urge to drive to a river, dump Akashi in said river and slap the bullshit out of him.

 

It’s one in the morning when Mayuzumi finally has the chance to call Kuroko. When Kuroko picks up, he greets, “Good fucking early morning to you, you problematic brat.”

 

“Is something wrong, Mayuzumi-kun?”

 

“I wouldn’t be calling you if something wasn’t wrong. Clearly, your lover boy’s still obsessed with you. I’m not going to deal with a sulky, heart-broken baby. Now stop ignoring his calls and stop being a brat.”

 

“Hmm. Define what constitutes a brat, Mayuzumi-kun.”

 

“No avoiding the issue. Solve your shit with him so he can stop getting drunk.”

 

“Ah, well, you didn’t have to give him my number,” Kuroko reminds, not a single emotion in his monotone voice.

 

“He would’ve continued to pester me. You know I would’ve shot him by now if he wasn’t my client.”

 

“Surely Mayuzumi-kun lies. You’re too nice to shoot Akashi-kun.”

 

“And why do you say that?”

 

“Because I’ve known you for years and I’m annoying to you, yet I’m still alive with my body intact, so what does that mean?” Kuroko says.

 

Mayuzumi counters, “There’s some holes with your way of thinking, Kuroko. I could be preparing a gruesome death for you and you wouldn’t even know apparently. Don’t trust me so easily.”

 

Kuroko hums, contemplating. “Mayuzumi-kun may be right about that. I’ll talk to him.”

 

*^*

 

It’s a late evening in June when Kuroko decides to call Akashi. Mayuzumi’s sitting on Akashi’s couch reading a light novel when this call occurs. He rolls his eyes, muttering something about stupid Kuroko waiting two freaking months. He doesn’t fail to notice how quick Akashi picks up and leaves the living room to find some privacy.

 

Two and a half hours later, Mayuzumi hears Akashi’s footsteps.

 

Mayuzumi flips a page. “Now that Kuroko’s contacted you, are you going to stop getting wasted?”

 

Akashi pours himself some wine. “I can handle my alcohol, Chihiro.”

 

“Sure you can. I remember that one night you kept sobbing about the brat. Boo hoo, kuroko this, kuroko that. Blah blah blah,” Mayuzumi says, full of disdain.

 

“I remember no such thing, Chihiro.”

 

Mayuzumi closes his book and gives Akashi a tiny smirk. “Of course you wouldn’t. You were drunk.”

 

Akashi pops the cork back into the bottle of wine. “True but I hold no significance to it. Brace yourself, Chihiro, tomorrow we must get up at five. I have some work to tend to. If I were you, I’d sleep early.”

 

He retreats to his bedroom with the glass of wine in hand.

 

“Tch. Still a fucking brat as usual.” Mayuzumi finds himself smiling a bit.

 

The next morning, Akashi drives them to work. He stops at a red light and looks at the staring guard. “Is there something you need to say?”

 

“Yeah, like, where the hell are you going Akashi? You missed the turn a while ago.”

 

Akashi chuckles, accelerating. “I never said we were going to the office today, did I?”

 

*^*

 

Yukimaru licks Mayuzumi’s hand. “This is disgusting.”

 

“Now, now,” Akashi coos, a threatening undertone laced beneath. He brushes Yukimaru’s white mane. “Don’t call Yukimaru disgusting, Chihiro.”

 

“I never called him that. I was referring to the saliva all over my hand as disgusting.” Mayuzumi steps away from the neighing horse.

 

Akashi smiles, looking utterly at ease, before replying, “You’re referring to Yukimaru’s saliva. Since the saliva is his, you are essentially calling him disgusting.”

 

Mayuzumi shakes his head with disbelief. He walks to the water barrel, washing his hands clean. “Kuroko and you, I swear you two have crazy ways of reasoning.”

 

Akashi strokes Yukimaru’s side. “We do, don’t we?”

 

Mayuzumi sits on a haystack. “And?”

 

“And what?”

 

“Are you dating that brat again?”

 

Akashi says, almost as if he was musing to himself, “Aren’t you a curious one, Chihiro.”

 

He gently tugs the rein and guides the horse out to the pasture. The guard quietly follows, wondering if he was prying too much and when he became such a nosy mother hen.

 

Akashi watches his horse drink from a little stream. It dips the tip of its muzzle into the water, shakes it off, and laps at the liquid with its tongue. “Yukimaru’s a beauty, isn’t he?”

 

“I guess.” Mayuzumi regrets not bringing his light novel now. He could be sitting on the grass, reading and enjoying the silence.

 

Akashi plucks a blade of grass from the earth. “I used to come here with my mother when I was a young boy.”

 

Mayuzumi stares off into the distance, eyes fixed on those tall trees. He mulls about Akashi. The twenty-nine years old has a dead mother and a rich but distant father. He’s the heir to one of Japan’s key business corps. Talk about pressure. He’s probably a lonely person, intelligent but lonely. He’s most likely encountered some fork points in his life. Mayuzumi assumes one of those forks to be one where Akashi’s torn between picking Kuroko or his father, or something cliché like that.

 

“Ah, Chihiro’s soul has fled to the heavens again,” Akashi comments. “Only an automated shell is left.”

 

“You wish,” Mayuzumi remarks bitingly.

 

Akashi merely stares, letting them dwell in silence again. Yukimaru gallops back to them and as Akashi stands up, he states, “There’s no need to look at me with such eyes, Chihiro.”

 

Akashi holds his hand up. Yukimaru follows the movement and licks it.

 

“What kind of eyes do you see then, Akashi?”

 

Akashi prepares to mount his horse. “The usual ones. Eyes with pity.”

 

He sits down on the saddle, gripping the rein. “But as I said, there is no need to stare at me with such eyes. Not now. You can look at me pitifully when I am no longer victorious.”

 

Akashi has Yukimaru walk around in a circle. “Did Tetsuya ever tell you I have never lost before in my life?”

 

Mayuzumi shakes his head. There’s a subtle smile to Akashi’s lips. “There is one thing I can’t win at. Guess correctly Chihiro and I might give you a prize.”

 

Mayuzumi shrugs, already surrendering. No need to try at something he obviously doesn’t know. “I don’t know.”

 

“I value honest people. How unfortunate to have only met you now. You may head back to the stalls. I’m going for a ride with Yukimaru.”

 

*^*

 

The months go by and before Mayuzumi even knows it, it’s December again. Decorative lights are wrapped around objects, adorning the streets with a festive spirit. Mayuzumi and Akashi sit inside a pastry shop.

 

Akashi sips his warm tea while reading. He doesn’t bother removing his eyes from the page as he asks, “Chihiro, do you need something?”

 

“There’s something I’d like to ask you before my contract ends.”

 

Akashi shuts his book. “And what is that?”

 

“What’s the answer?”

 

Akashi dons a secretive and teasing smile. “How unfortunate for you Chihiro. I don’t give away answers.”

 

“It’s not urgent for me to know anyways.” Mayuzumi would never openly admit that he’s feeling a tad bit upset with Akashi’s response. He’d rather bite his tongue off.

 

“Perfect. If there’s nothing else you’d like to say, I will continue reading now.”

 

Mayuzumi’s somewhat unnerved when looking at Akashi’s eyes. They seem to hold secrets, secrets that invite him to discover, but he knows he won’t be able to. There's a graveness to those secrets and he’s certain he doesn’t want to get caught up in it. “I heard that you plan on meeting with Kuroko.”

 

Akashi nods. “Tetsuya and I will meet on my birthday.”

 

Mayuzumi rolls his eyes. _Of course_. “Is that why you’re so cheery these days?”

 

“Define cheery.”

 

“There really isn’t any big change in your behavior but the subtleties show it all.”

 

Akashi nods again. “Tetsuya is my liberation. He always goes beyond my expectations.”

 

“You must’ve known him for a long time then, especially when you have so much faith in him.”

 

“Correct. I’ve known him since middle school. Unfortunately, that was the last time I saw him.” Akashi stirs his tea, a pensive expression on his face. _Or perhaps it was a fortunate thing?_

 

They sit in silence until Akashi says something again.

 

“I must really thank you, Chihiro. It’s because of you that Tetsuya and I could keep our promise. You’re a miracle.”

 

Mayuzumi cocks a brow. “I only did it because you kept making my job difficult.”

 

“Still, you have my thanks. Chihiro.”

 

*^*

 

_Date: 20/12_

_Time: 12:00 AM_

 

Kuroko scans the unfamiliar environment as he shuts the door softly. The place is dark and silent.

 

“I’m glad you made it, Tetsuya.” Akashi’s voice comes out from nowhere.

 

“Of course, Akashi-kun.” Kuroko follows the voice until he’s standing in the living room where Akashi comfortably sits in a recliner. The window-wall looms behind him, reminding Kuroko how early it is. The sun has yet to rise. The city is still alive with lights.

 

Akashi extends a hand, gesturing for his guest to come closer, and Kuroko does. He now stands wedged between Akashi’s knees with one of Akashi’s arms wrapped around his waist. Akashi gently grabs one of Kuroko’s hands, intertwining their fingers. “Look at me, Tetsuya.”

 

Blue eyes shift downwards, trailing over those familiar red locks. Kuroko takes his time assessing the change in Akashi’s face. Nothing. Nothing looks different. Akashi still looks the same. Those eyes still beg him.

 

Akashi’s hand slips under Kuroko’s shirt. Fingers press against his flesh, gliding up his chest, testing and prodding. “You’ve toned your body, Tetsuya.”

 

“Yes,” Kuroko responds, almost whispering.

 

Akashi places his head on Kuroko’s stomach, retracting his hand only to wrap it around Kuroko’s waist with the other hand. They remain like that for a while until Kuroko breeches the silence.

 

“Please don’t do this to me, Akashi-kun.”

 

“Do what?” Akashi asks, at ease and never budging from his form.

 

Kuroko strokes Akashi’s hair, keeping the man trapped against him. “Don’t silently stifle me like this. It hurts.”

 

“You know I love you, Tetsuya.”

 

Akashi feels the sharp tug on his hair, but he doesn’t mind it. “I love you, Tetsuya. I really do.”

 

Drops of liquid wet his hair. He feels the tension in Kuroko’s fingers loosen and tighten as he curls and unfurls his fingers.

 

“Akashi-kun is mean.”

 

“I know.”

 

“And manipulating and selfish,” Kuroko adds, sounding more bitter than he thought he’d be. He pries Akashi away from his stomach and cups Akashi’s face, thumbs biting down into Akashi’s cheeks. Tears prickle his watery eyes, threatening to brim over. “But I’m the one who wanted Akashi-kun to show his everything to me. I wanted-”

 

Kuroko’s voice breaks and he clenches his eyes shut, teeth gritting together. He breathes out a whisper, frustrated and disappointed. “I wanted to be yours when you had nothing. I wanted to be _yours_ , Akashi-kun.”

 

Akashi’s grip tightens at the reality of Kuroko breaking before him. His voice is low and hollow. “You know I can’t give you that, _anything but that._ ”

 

Kuroko sinks to his knees, lower than Akashi. “I know Akashi-kun doesn’t love me.”

 

“We both knew,” Akashi murmurs. He’s unable soothe Kuroko.

 

“But it’s okay,” Tetsuya says. “Even if Akashi-kun doesn’t love me, Akashi-kun still relied on me.”

 

Akashi smiles. “There’s the determination I admire.”

 

“I thought if I stopped seeing Akashi-kun, he would fall out of love. He would learn to love life and come to love me, but Akashi-kun’s love is too strong. I’m jealous of the one he loves. I wish it was me.” Kuroko rises and his hand slips behind his back. He returns the smile with his own. “But regardless, Akashi-kun has pulled me back into his world once more. Thank you, Akashi-kun, for letting me be a part of your world.”

 

Akashi pulls Kuroko’s hand out from behind his back and eyes the gun with more love than he could ever regard Kuroko with. “I must really thank Tetsuya for being so loyal. In return, I bestow you a gift. You’re the only one to see me in my last breathing moments and you’re the first to see me turn thirty.”

 

He guides Kuroko’s hand and the gun to his temple. “You know I love you, Tetsuya.”

 

Kuroko smiles gratefully. He can’t help but feel the bitter pang furiously bubble up in his chest. They could’ve had a future, if Akashi wasn’t so in love with death. Even now, Akashi still plays the role Kuroko always wanted him to play—his lover.

His finger curls around the trigger, weight pushing it down.

 

Bang.

_Bang._

****

_**Bang.** _

****

**_Bang._ **

 

Kuroko’s too absorbed in his thoughts. The loud shots render his hearing useless. All his senses become useless. He only thinks of Akashi.

The _middle school student_ who was already seated on such a high pedestal. Akashi who was far beyond his reach but that didn’t matter because there was something about him that captivated Kuroko. Maybe it was the day Akashi pointed out Kuroko’s usefulness to the basketball team, saving him from the heavy despair, or maybe it was the way Akashi’s eyes could read him like an open book.

 

In the process of getting acquainted with Akashi, somewhere, somehow, he fell in love with Akashi. Everything of Akashi’s, he wanted to see. He wanted to be Akashi’s when there was nothing in the world Akashi wanted, when the world rejected Akashi for who he was and what he truly wanted to be. He wanted to be the one Akashi would call upon in his darkest and most troubling moments.

 

But the thing is. He _loves_ Akashi so much he wanted that love reciprocated. He still does.

 

_“I’m attending Rakuzan at the request of my father, Tetsuya. Are you coming?”_

 

_“I’ve decided to attend Seirin.”_

 

Kuroko doesn’t remember when he started crying. Akashi’s body is bent over, slumped with arms splayed out and head drooping. Dull eyes half-open. His body is stained with blood and open wounds. Kuroko’s clothes, hands, face—everything of his is tainted with Akashi.

 

 _Maybe if I went to Rakuzan, things would’ve been different_ , Kuroko laments regretfully. _If I had said yes…_

 

“ _That is unfortunate, Tetsuya.”_

_“I’m sorry Akashi-kun.”_

_“There’s no need to apologize, Tetsuya. It was my fault. I was ignorant to assume you would come with me.”_

 

Kuroko sinks to the floor once more. Bloody hands hide his face.

 

“I was too selfish, Akashi-kun. I wanted you to chase after me. I wanted you to yearn after me, to show me how much you valued me.”

 

_“Akashi-kun is not upset at me?”_

 

_“No, I could never be, Tetsuya. Everyone’s entitled to their freedom.”_

“Akashi-kun is too nice.” Kuroko grabs the limp hand, squeezing it once before placing it against his cheek. “I’m sorry, Akashi-kun. I left you alone.”

 

_“One thing before we part, Tetsuya. I would like to meet you again in the future.”_

“I was very ecstatic when you said that to me,” Kuroko murmurs, feeling the dying pulse on Akashi’s wrist.

 

_“I’d like that too, Akashi-kun.”_

 

“I’ve been watching you from afar, Akashi-kun. You didn’t look any happier than the last time I saw you. When you suddenly called me, I didn’t pick up because I know you wanted to see me for all the wrong reasons,” Kuroko says.

 

A heavy sigh exhales loudly. “Those reasons are wrong in _your_ opinion. Don’t throw a tantrum just because he didn’t call you to declare his undying love for you.”

 

Kuroko, surprised for once, releases the cold hand and spots Mayuzumi standing behind him, indignant.

 

“It's such a lovely thing to find your mission gone wrong and all of it is at the hands of a comrade.” Mayuzumi crosses his arms, unimpressed. “Excuse your pitiful monologue, I’ll have you know my mission was to _keep the dead brat alive and breathing_. When Masaomi-san finds out, heads will roll and mine certainly isn’t going to be one of them.”

 

Mayuzumi saunters over, making sure to avoid the blood, and checks Akashi’s pulse. “Tch, too late to save the brat now.”

 

He glares at Kuroko. “I knew you two were bad luck. If you wanted him that bad, you shouldn’t have killed him. Maybe if you answered when he desperately called, you could’ve changed the game.”

 

Kuroko blinks. “You think so?”

 

Mayuzumi sighs irritably. “Do I look like god? I said _maybe_. Besides, Akashi’s a stubborn brat as well so who knows what you could’ve even done.”

 

Before Kuroko can turn all sulky and lament again, Mayuzumi continues on. “Cast aside your issue for the moment because the main problem is what to do with a dead Akashi. I am not going to cover your ass just because you decided to do a favor for your boyfriend.”

 

“We weren’t even lovers, Mayuzumi-kun.”

 

“Alright. Whatever you call it, so be it. Back to the issue now.”

 

Kuroko hands the gun to Mayuzumi. “Simple. Mayuzumi-kun can kill me and say he caught the culprit but was too late to save Akashi-kun. At least then Mayuzumi won’t have to present himself empty-handed to Masaomi-san.”

 

Mayuzumi stares at the gun, contemplating.

 

“Take it. I want to go where Akashi-kun is.”

 

Mayuzumi doesn’t bother suppressing his snide snort. “How cliché. Lovers chasing after one another even after death.”

 

Kuroko gives him his usual deadpan look, but the look in his eyes say this is no time to make such comments. Mayuzumi presses his lips in a firm line. “Answer me this first. What is it that Akashi could not win against?”

 

Kuroko smiles knowingly. “Mayuzumi-kun is a curious one.”

 

“Do you want to die or not?”

 

“Akashi-kun asked me this in middle school and I got it right. I’m amazed Mayuzumi-kun has yet to answer it.”

 

“Quit dawdling around,” Mayuzumi remarks, annoyed with how chatty Kuroko was getting.

 

“It’s relatively easy.”

 

“Okay, suicide it is for you.”

 

Kuroko persists to make him think nonetheless. “The answer’s right in front of you, Mayuzumi-kun.”

 

“What?” Mayuzumi glances at the body before him. “A dead Akashi?”

 

Kuroko resigns with a soft sigh. “Death.”

 

“Akashi could never win against death?”

 

Kuroko shakes the gun, clearly telling him to take the weapon. Mayuzumi pulls out his own, all the while admitting, “I’d like to know why that is.”

 

Kuroko lies against Akashi’s legs, settling down for his impending death. “Akashi-kun has an image to keep. It would not reflect well on his family if he committed suicide. As much as he wants to die, he can’t kill himself. He’s a secluded person. If he were to die, he’d have to get someone he approves of to kill him. That’s just how he is.”

 

“And that person is you?”

 

“I suppose so, seeing how things have played out. Akashi-kun must’ve seen something he liked about me, enough to make him entrust his death in my hands.”

 

Mayuzumi scoffs. “Or maybe you just saw something really shitty about him and he wants to relieve himself of the mental torment by having you kill him. Thus, letting him rest in peace.”

 

“Please pull the trigger, Mayuzumi-kun.”

 

Mayuzumi observes his comrade with his gun cocked in hand. “I don’t know why you two subject yourselves to this kind of a cheesy, cliché love ending. I thought you two got back together?”

 

“No and for the record, we never even dated.”

 

“Well it sounded like you guys dated.”

 

“Everything was a fabrication of lies and webs of deceit to keep us from giving in to the emptiness. It’s what happens when you put broken people together. They cling onto one another and build what they can with what they can.” Kuroko lets out a hollow, broken laugh. “What’s with the eyes, Mayuzumi-kun?”

 

“What kind of eyes do you see?” Mayuzumi already knows the answer.

 

“Eyes of pity.” Kuroko closes his eyes, hands clasped together in his lap. He relaxes. “It’s fine. I’ve lost everything. You’re inclined to look at me with pity but you have to kill me, no matter how much you don’t want to, Mayuzumi-kun. _Please._ ”

 

“Why?” Mayuzumi asks. He usually doesn’t concern himself with others, but when it comes to these two, he’s instinctually curious.

 

Beads of tears roll down Kuroko’s frustrated face. “Because I don’t want to lose to death, Mayuzumi-kun.”

 

Mayuzumi doesn’t bother to ask anymore.

 

He pulls the trigger and listens to the gun reload. The cycle goes on for a few seconds.

 

He doesn’t comprehend Kuroko’s reason. Akashi and Kuroko, they never really made much sense to him. Then again, love never made much sense to him. People don’t really make sense either. As Mayuzumi waits for authority to arrive, he thinks to himself that it’s probably time to retire. He’s not fit for these kinds of jobs. Not anymore. He feels too mellow, too soft and caring. 

If only he was the automated empty shell Akashi kept saying he was. If only he was. 

**Author's Note:**

> ** Title from Snow Patrol's _Run_


End file.
